On Monogamy

This past week, I got in a discussion with my best friend regarding the feasibility of polygamous and/or open romantic relationships. The conversation further cemented my previous views on the subject: there seems to be no other reason to have a hard and fast rule of monogamy other than safeguarding one’s self-esteem. That being said, I do not think that I would be capable of an “open” relationship. But as I think my friend rightly pointed out, relationships should be built upon strengths rather than catering to weaknesses. It is for this reason that I would prefer any person I was in a relationship with to be honest and upfront with any desires to see other people. I just do not think I would have the confidence to not be hurt and/or react rationally.

It seems to me that two-person relationships are hard enough to manage and keep alive without any other variables. People are growing and changing shapes of beliefs, values, and characteristics. Linking two such dynamic shapes together for any period of time seems challenging enough (especially when it is so challenging to know one’s own “shape,” let alone discover/learn another’s). Adding in other variables, which involve other such shapes, over-complicates an already complicated task. I believe such relationships have and can work; it just seems to me to have derived from sheer luck more than anything else (perhaps the same can be said of all successful relationships).

Then again, it is possible that seeking a relationship(s) founded upon such principles of freedom, honesty, and overall openness is a worthwhile goal. The msn article, “I have two husbands,” describes one of the most seemingly happy marriages I’ve seen: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29239960/