On “True” Love

“True love” is generally a topic I could go without, but since today is Valentine’s Day and “true love” is at its commercial peak, why not? The belief in there being one and only one person for each seems to be beyond naïve. This isn’t only for the way in which it is advertised (via unrealistic works of literature and media), or for the possibly unjustified view that the universe is structured in such a way so as to account for the love life of each person. Rather, “true love” goes against my understanding of what it means to be human. In what I’ve lived and witnessed in my life, people are not static, “characteristic” puzzle pieces that lock into one another permanently on all, if any, counts. I have been referred to as someone who “has his head on his shoulders,” who “knows who he is and what he wants,” and who “lives by a strict morality.” People, who say this of me, generally know me from my actions in some aspect during some period of time in my life. Most importantly, they don’t know my thoughts. I recognize that some of my characteristics are unfounded, built on insecurities or pure custom. Is there a “true love” for me? Doubtful.

Is there someone who is sufficient to my needs and vice versa? Probably. But, if there’s one person, why wouldn’t there be more? Are we that distinct? Are we all that unique to where being with anyone else wouldn’t work? And if a relationship does work, would the reasons it works last forever? In my personal life, I’ve seen more divorces and relationships that shouldn’t be together than I have lifelong relationships. Of the few that I have seen, they are almost entirely surviving off their comfort and lack of alternatives. I don’t mean to imply that great, long lasting relationships aren’t worth attaining, striving for, or possible. I only mean to say that the priority to find “true love” creates more problems than otherwise necessary. People engaged in relationships built upon a mutual, blind faith belief in “true love” run a higher risk of ignoring personal faults or the faults of their partner than those in relationships built upon the effort of both (or possibly many) sides. Those who believe in “true love” run the risk of “being in love with being in love” rather than their partner. The goal shouldn’t be eternity, but each step. Not everything beautiful must exist forever. Life, in fact, seems much more powerful with the acknowledgment of an end. Having the recognition that relationships can die before they actually do makes people fight to sustain it. This is opposed to waking up to the realization that you’ve committed your life to a corpse and that you know longer have the life to leave.