On Blogging

In the beginning of this semester I dedicated this blog “to the contents of my mind in relation and pursuit of truth.” I think I accomplished that goal. Through various topics I think I have represented my libertarian and moralistic viewpoints. While this project may not have opened my eyes to as much hidden and underlying opinions as I would have hoped, it did affirm many of the beliefs I do hold. Perhaps it was too lofty an ambition to hope that I would locate all sorts of unfounded beliefs. More likely, however, is that such an ambition was assuming the worst: I have a large amount of unfounded beliefs. Nonetheless, I was forced to rethink my justifications for monogamy (because “it’s what works” does not cut it), and I did discover new reasons for my interest in mixed martial arts (namely, my father).

In the end, I think the most helpful aspect to this project was the constant necessity to write. In order to best manage my time and complete the requirements of this blog assignment, I was constantly thinking of topics. Utilizing my downtime between and even in classes, I wrote, sketched, and drafted many blog entries. It was a fun, challenging, frustrating, and even, somewhat liberating. In many weeks of this semester, I felt mentally, physically, and emotionally overwhelmed with school, work, and life in general. Writing down my thoughts, even if not on the specific topics of stress, was therapeutic. While I most likely won’t continue blogging (I don’t exactly have or desire a virtual constituency) I will consider routinely free-writing.

On My Years at the University of Arizona

I figure the end of my senior year and the end of my blog assignment is as good a time as any to wrap up how I feel about the University of Arizona (unless of course I ever get into the U. of A. law program).

I have spent four year here. The fact that it feels like it flew by probably reflects positively my time. When I arrived here four years ago, I was a knee deep into a long distance relationship with my 19 year old “high school sweet heart,” discontent with my loss of religion and moral misguidance, happy about escaping the grips of California, sitting on the fence between nihilism and stoicism, and feeling overall useless. Since then I have resolved the issue of the high school sweet heart (in hindsight this is my favorite way to word that break up), found moral guidance my major (philosophy), distanced myself even further from California, and overcome any problematic stoic or nihilistic impulses. Unfortunately, I feel like I have, in one way or another, remained useless.

My time here has taught me how to do the work necessary to pass my classes while maintaining a job and taking care of myself. Congratulations to me: I’m not entirely dependent. However, I remember little of any content I was ever tested on, spent most of my time working at a market making burritos, and made friends through random chance encounters. In other words, I have not been in control of my college career.

In sum, my years at the U of A have felt rushed and unimportant. I’ll receive my diploma. Hopefully I’ll be pleasantly surprised on its usefulness, which will reflect on mine.

On the National Day of Prayer

“A federal judge in Wisconsin declared Thursday that the US law authorizing a National Day of Prayer is unconstitutional” (Warren Richey The Christian Science Moniter). (Weblink: http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2010/0415/Federal-judge-National-Day-of-Prayer-is-unconstitutional)

A friend of mine (perhaps it is relevant to point out that he is religious, Christian to be specific) was substantially upset by this outcome. He argued that the establishment clause of the first amendment of the Constitution was written to protect religions from government infringement and not, as he put it, to remove religion from American life. He went on to say that if the government where to ignore religion, as in not having such things as a National Day of Prayer, they would be “alienating” themselves from a majority of the population.

I don't think anyone is arguing that the government should remove religion from american life--that would be very much against the Constitution. However, the government setting aside a day for prayer is a problem, because, as the judge stated, it serves no secular purpose. Which means: it should have never been created in 1952. She also stated that there is no problem with the government's recognition of its religious citizens, however, a National Prayer Day is a deliberate move by the government "to encourage all citizens to engage in prayer..." People can pray whenever they please; creating a National Day of prayer is not only intrusive to non-theists, but to theists who shouldn't have any form of pressure from their government regarding when and where to practice their belief. If a majority of theists freely decide on a single day to "pray together," then so be it--it just doesn't belong as a national holiday. Come to think of it… I am not sure what does.

On M.m.a. #4

My Father

This last entry on m.m.a. comes from some degree of psychoanalysis—due to my distrust in everything and anything Fruedian, I’m not convinced of its truth. Nonetheless, in hindsight, m.m.a. seems to be an important aspect in my life with roots that go back to my father (biological). As a child, for better or worse, I was terrified of him to the point of silence and hesitation in his presence (even without his presence with the idea that he was somehow observing). As I grew up, this molded into a tendency to submit to authority, of any kind. I justifiably grew to hate this attribute of myself. Consistent with the idea that this characteristic reflected my father, I could not help but think that the tendency was based on physical intimidation. Learning how to fight, beyond petty altercations with peers, was in many ways therapeutic. It was a call to be a better, more independent and confident person—to speak and act as my mind sees fit and bear the consequences of any individual who disagrees with force, namely my father. It was perhaps no surprise then that the first time I ever stood up to my father verbally was over whether or not I would continue boxing. In a completely rational society, the use of physical force would be unnecessary. Unfortunately, we do not live in such a society. Knowing that I don’t have to limit my actions to conform to the irrationality of others is, for me, the best aspect to m.m.a.

On M.m.a. #3

The Experience

Fighting for sport, in many ways, flirts with the feelings associated with an actual fight: survival. Like any other experience, these feelings need to be felt in order to be fully understood. Most commonly there is a rush of adrenaline, which can be a blessing or a curse. Sometimes it can make you feel energized, focused, and less prone to injury. It is important to keep in mind, however, that this is only a feeling, and that such a state of mind can lead one to make poor choices (such as wild looping punches or wasted energy). At other times it can be overwhelming to the point of immobility. In other words, the sensation to act, if unguided, can leave one hesitant and uncomfortably anxious. The biggest curse is the inevitable consequence of operating under this heightened state of being: exhaustion. It is normal and if there is any sense to the word, probably natural, to be uncomfortable in the state of being. Nonetheless, there are few experiences in life that remind you of every sense in your body. In essence, you are alive, aware of it, and fighting for remain as such.

Conquering the Experience

Fighting for sport requires that one embrace that said experience—to confront that zone of discomfort and to aim to master it. Being able to control myself in a fight atmosphere has given me confidence and the peace of mind to confront many obstacles in life.

Winning:

Putting your body and mind to something and accomplishing is a rewarding experience in itself. Doing so in a setting where your wellbeing was just at stake against an equally competent opponent is literally amazing.

On M.m.a #2

Two entries ago, I began talking about why I enjoy mixed martial arts (more commonly and unfortunately known as “cage fighting”). The first two reasons dealt with nostalgia and self-defense, but these alone hardly justify a hobby that involves being punched in the stomach, kicked in the head, and choked unconscious. I will attempt to complete the list.

Competition:

I am, in general, a competitive person. Usually, this quality emerges during useless challenges, such as racquet ball, trivia, arm wrestling, running, monopoly, basketball, connect four, etc (it’s a shame such competitiveness is lacking in regards to actual challenges such as eating well, bettering myself, or life in general). And then, there is fighting, a unique form. Fighting is what other competitions are compared to in order to symbolize drama, importance, and high stakes. With actual fighting, there is no need to use metaphor. Each fight risks serious physical and psychological injury (although, if officiated correctly, far less than many sports).

Fight enough times and eventually you will lose. This principle is tried and true (just ask Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson). In training, the aim is to tilt the probability that the next fight will end in victory. Fights may be won entirely on physicality, but in order to have any lasting success one has to rely equally, if not more so, on one’s mind (simply compare the careers of the three hundred and fifty pound muscles mass, Bob Sapp, 11-6-1, with the overweight couch potato, Fedor Emelianenko, 31-1-0). Fighting is chess with one’s body instead of the board or pieces: matching the strength, conditioning, skill set, etc. You have to know when to attack with full force so as to not cost oneself the victory, reserve your energy so as to not become defenselessly exhausted, know the counter to the moves of your opponent so as to not take damage, know the counters of your own moves so as to not be countered, remember to breathe, et cetera.

On Work

(On M.M.A. Vol. II to be continued later)

I spent over thirty hours at work in the last three days. I cannot help but have this blog reflect that fact; not only is it on my conscious mind, but it haunts my dreams. Hell, it “gets my dreams for free” (“Waking Life”).

Work has always been important to me. Combined with work are the principles and ideas associated with money, self-sufficiency, independence, and in many ways, pride. Even as a kid, I have always been concerned with money. Unless I’m paying my own bill, I will always get the cheapest thing on the menu. I think this is largely due to the fact that I have worked since I was a child. I would accompany my dad to construction sites as a “labor.” I learned early on that the phrase “time is money” should be said “money is time.” If someone buys me a twenty dollar gift, they are not only giving me that gift but time and effort of themselves. To put in that time and effort is what it means to give a gift, appreciate help, and earn a living.

Similar to how people can detect one’s values based on that person’s friends, one can also detect one’s values based on their job. Currently, I work at Highland Market as a student manager—a student employee with the responsibilities of a manager without its pay or benefits. I love my job for the fact that it has put me through school, puts food in my mouth, and puts a roof over my head. But I cannot help but think I have wasted hours and hours of time on something completely unproductive to my long term goals. I can’t help but think it’s cost me some of those goals. I am graduating without anything to show for it but a piece of paper, debt, and a job at a market.