On M.m.a. #3

The Experience

Fighting for sport, in many ways, flirts with the feelings associated with an actual fight: survival. Like any other experience, these feelings need to be felt in order to be fully understood. Most commonly there is a rush of adrenaline, which can be a blessing or a curse. Sometimes it can make you feel energized, focused, and less prone to injury. It is important to keep in mind, however, that this is only a feeling, and that such a state of mind can lead one to make poor choices (such as wild looping punches or wasted energy). At other times it can be overwhelming to the point of immobility. In other words, the sensation to act, if unguided, can leave one hesitant and uncomfortably anxious. The biggest curse is the inevitable consequence of operating under this heightened state of being: exhaustion. It is normal and if there is any sense to the word, probably natural, to be uncomfortable in the state of being. Nonetheless, there are few experiences in life that remind you of every sense in your body. In essence, you are alive, aware of it, and fighting for remain as such.

Conquering the Experience

Fighting for sport requires that one embrace that said experience—to confront that zone of discomfort and to aim to master it. Being able to control myself in a fight atmosphere has given me confidence and the peace of mind to confront many obstacles in life.

Winning:

Putting your body and mind to something and accomplishing is a rewarding experience in itself. Doing so in a setting where your wellbeing was just at stake against an equally competent opponent is literally amazing.

On M.m.a #2

Two entries ago, I began talking about why I enjoy mixed martial arts (more commonly and unfortunately known as “cage fighting”). The first two reasons dealt with nostalgia and self-defense, but these alone hardly justify a hobby that involves being punched in the stomach, kicked in the head, and choked unconscious. I will attempt to complete the list.

Competition:

I am, in general, a competitive person. Usually, this quality emerges during useless challenges, such as racquet ball, trivia, arm wrestling, running, monopoly, basketball, connect four, etc (it’s a shame such competitiveness is lacking in regards to actual challenges such as eating well, bettering myself, or life in general). And then, there is fighting, a unique form. Fighting is what other competitions are compared to in order to symbolize drama, importance, and high stakes. With actual fighting, there is no need to use metaphor. Each fight risks serious physical and psychological injury (although, if officiated correctly, far less than many sports).

Fight enough times and eventually you will lose. This principle is tried and true (just ask Muhammad Ali and Mike Tyson). In training, the aim is to tilt the probability that the next fight will end in victory. Fights may be won entirely on physicality, but in order to have any lasting success one has to rely equally, if not more so, on one’s mind (simply compare the careers of the three hundred and fifty pound muscles mass, Bob Sapp, 11-6-1, with the overweight couch potato, Fedor Emelianenko, 31-1-0). Fighting is chess with one’s body instead of the board or pieces: matching the strength, conditioning, skill set, etc. You have to know when to attack with full force so as to not cost oneself the victory, reserve your energy so as to not become defenselessly exhausted, know the counter to the moves of your opponent so as to not take damage, know the counters of your own moves so as to not be countered, remember to breathe, et cetera.

On Work

(On M.M.A. Vol. II to be continued later)

I spent over thirty hours at work in the last three days. I cannot help but have this blog reflect that fact; not only is it on my conscious mind, but it haunts my dreams. Hell, it “gets my dreams for free” (“Waking Life”).

Work has always been important to me. Combined with work are the principles and ideas associated with money, self-sufficiency, independence, and in many ways, pride. Even as a kid, I have always been concerned with money. Unless I’m paying my own bill, I will always get the cheapest thing on the menu. I think this is largely due to the fact that I have worked since I was a child. I would accompany my dad to construction sites as a “labor.” I learned early on that the phrase “time is money” should be said “money is time.” If someone buys me a twenty dollar gift, they are not only giving me that gift but time and effort of themselves. To put in that time and effort is what it means to give a gift, appreciate help, and earn a living.

Similar to how people can detect one’s values based on that person’s friends, one can also detect one’s values based on their job. Currently, I work at Highland Market as a student manager—a student employee with the responsibilities of a manager without its pay or benefits. I love my job for the fact that it has put me through school, puts food in my mouth, and puts a roof over my head. But I cannot help but think I have wasted hours and hours of time on something completely unproductive to my long term goals. I can’t help but think it’s cost me some of those goals. I am graduating without anything to show for it but a piece of paper, debt, and a job at a market.

On M.M.A. #1

When I tell people who know that my hobby is boxing, jiujitsu, and mixed martial arts for the first time, they tend to think that I am joking. When I tell people that don’t know me that same thing, they tend to think that a, for the lack of a better word, “bro.” I can see, at least at first glance, how it does not match my personality. Even now, I have little in common with those I train with… conversations that I have about fighting with others who are interested in the sport are generally shallow and redundant… Nonetheless, I love it. And like with any other desire, I have attempted to understand why.

Nostalgia:

Power Rangers. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Surf Ninjas. 3 Ninjas. Bruce Lee Movies. John Wayne movies. The list goes on. Whether it was my karate obsessed uncle or my peers who shared the interest, fighting has always seemed “cool.”

Self-Defense:

From kindergarten to seventh grade, I was always getting in fights. In my private school (St. Phillips), my light complexion and disinterest in baseball was the vast minority. In public school (Washington Elementary), I thought I had enough “street cred” to talk down to people. In actuality, I had zero ability, and was generally acting in a way lashing out against my low confidence level. Thanks to my older sisters, I had developed a high tolerance for pain, and thanks to my scrawny physique, I was either constantly forced to, or otherwise felt the need to, prove myself…

To be continued...

On Music: Lyrics

It has come to my attention that I began this blog with the intent to cover concrete and artistic aspects of life, and I have, for the most part, ignored any artistic aspects. I will attempt to right that wrong in this post:

For me, as for most people, music can play many roles in my life: it can be an emotional release, a puzzle, an escape, etc. Sometimes music brings up nostalgia or offers inspiration for the future, but every now and then, for me, a song can have a much stronger impact on the moment. More specifically, the lyrics of a song can offer a new perspective on my life and/or express real emotions that I could not find the words to articulate. Radiohead’s “Pyramid Song” contains such lyrics:

I jumped in the river and what did I see?/Black-eyed angels swam with me/a moon full of stars and astral cards/and all the figures I used to see/All my lovers were there with me/All my past and futures/And we all went to heaven in a little row boat/There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt/I jumped into the river/Black-eyed angels swam with me/a moon full of stars and astral cars/and all the figures I used to see/All my lovers were there with me/All my past and futures/And we all went to heaven in a little row boat/There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt. There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt/There was nothing to fear and nothing to doubt.

Initially the song reminded me of Homer’s Odysseus:

“But he’ll make you fight, for he takes the forms of all beasts wind and water, and blinding fire, but you must hold on even so…”

But the song itself stands alone. The words describe one’s own life taken as a whole, an entire lifetime in one experience. The image is powerful and at times, overwhelming. No matter how many times I hear this song, I always feel a unique combination of happiness and sadness.

On Monogamy

This past week, I got in a discussion with my best friend regarding the feasibility of polygamous and/or open romantic relationships. The conversation further cemented my previous views on the subject: there seems to be no other reason to have a hard and fast rule of monogamy other than safeguarding one’s self-esteem. That being said, I do not think that I would be capable of an “open” relationship. But as I think my friend rightly pointed out, relationships should be built upon strengths rather than catering to weaknesses. It is for this reason that I would prefer any person I was in a relationship with to be honest and upfront with any desires to see other people. I just do not think I would have the confidence to not be hurt and/or react rationally.

It seems to me that two-person relationships are hard enough to manage and keep alive without any other variables. People are growing and changing shapes of beliefs, values, and characteristics. Linking two such dynamic shapes together for any period of time seems challenging enough (especially when it is so challenging to know one’s own “shape,” let alone discover/learn another’s). Adding in other variables, which involve other such shapes, over-complicates an already complicated task. I believe such relationships have and can work; it just seems to me to have derived from sheer luck more than anything else (perhaps the same can be said of all successful relationships).

Then again, it is possible that seeking a relationship(s) founded upon such principles of freedom, honesty, and overall openness is a worthwhile goal. The msn article, “I have two husbands,” describes one of the most seemingly happy marriages I’ve seen: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/29239960/

Interesting Thoughts (based on my biased vantage point)

There are some days where I can’t bring myself to focus on the content of some of my classes (I’m looking at you Spanish 202). On such days, I will often write out random thoughts in my notebook, which for the most part, are utterly meaningless. Every now and then, however, I write something that I find to be worth being rethought or revisited. Here are a few such passages from this week:

“So much so, that many people have used these observations to justify the belief in the existence of numbers, evolution, and God (among other things). That is, almost everything fits... Qualia sticks out like a sore, unexplainable, parakeet. Qualia as qualia doesn't fit into such theories as well as we'd hope. This observation has proved troublesome for scientists and believers in theories that can't explain them (behaviorism, physicalism, etc.), and have fueled many movements that challenge or disagree with such doctrines (many religions and spiritual movements for examples). In light of Russell's theory of logical atomism, it seems as though it is because "what there is" is qualia; everything else, on the other hand, we make up. Why does it all fit so logically together? Because our minds run, when we use them, logically.”

I believe that in order to want, desire, wish, hope, care, or love anything or anyone one must believe in Realism. To believe in that is to believe that where objectivity can be, it is and without contradiction. The priority of usefulness, even if false, is inescapable. To those that deny this, please PLEASE get out of the way.

As children, we are ingrained with a lot, A LOT, of very bad ideas. Youth is determining which ones are good and which ones bad.